After a rousing evening of Schmidt's at King's Hardware in Ballard the night before Jess' birthday I wondered on the walk back "Where do the homeless Beat off?" What prompted this query you might ask? None other than the risque mannequins (mannequines?) at the Second Ascent (the nipples on those things, right? {when did large "mushroom stem" nipples become attractive enough to be considered normal enough for the common place?}). Leave it to me to perve out on a window dressing at a thrift store, or gently used active wear bodega.
To make matters even better we saw a totally pie-eyed 400 lbs momma being carried by two homeless dudes down the street. She was blathering something incoherent and desperately sweating through a pair of stretch pants. I wonder where those guys were taking her? A Port-A-Potty? Under the Ballard Bridge? How about Golden Gardens for some Beach Blanket Bingo (Its the wettest wildest game in town!)? Don't say the homeless aren't active, they just work out at different times than us. No offense to the homeless of course.
To make matters even better we saw a totally pie-eyed 400 lbs momma being carried by two homeless dudes down the street. She was blathering something incoherent and desperately sweating through a pair of stretch pants. I wonder where those guys were taking her? A Port-A-Potty? Under the Ballard Bridge? How about Golden Gardens for some Beach Blanket Bingo (Its the wettest wildest game in town!)? Don't say the homeless aren't active, they just work out at different times than us. No offense to the homeless of course.
*Guest blog post by C-money.
1 comment:
this was more funny after a few schmidts
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