you know what really grinds my gears???

Last Wednesday I had lunch with Foil in the SoDo. During our lunch hour conversation, he brought to my attention that I don't rant enough on my blog. Apparently Foil thinks that I should be using this blog as an outlet to air my various grievances. In an effort to make this blog more interactive, I'd like to put out a call to all my homies for rant ideas. Oh, and something that would be even better? Guest blog rants. I'd love to hear what some of you readers have to complain about. Send me your material and I will post. So I will be calling my rant, and guest rant, segments "What Really Grinds My Gears"....a homage to Peter Griffin's segment on the Quahog news.
Last week was Pearl Jam week, so what better way to bring it all together than to rant about my favorite band of all time? Kim L., Chris, and I have discussed Eddie Vedder's hair at length over the past few tours. With that said.....you know what really grinds my gears? Eddie Vedder's hair. This guy's hair is on a downward spiral from the grunge rockin' hair hay days that were the 90's. While Stone Gossard's hair is getting better with age, EV's mop is in desperate need of intervention. Kim L., Chris, and I always joke that he needs some smoothing serum and a round brush. In actuality, I think he might need some Tousle Me Softly by Herbal Essences. Or better yet, some Frizz-Ease. It is going to be best to embrace those curls Eddie. I think I might even need to take some of my own advice and use more product. No one is perfect, including myself.

Case in point......what is going on here? This hair is just not working for me, or you for that matter. David Crosby called, he wants his hair back. I understand, I get it, you're aging, your hair is thinning, understood. Don't you have stylists that take care of this stuff for you though? Or are you too hard core to reach out for help? I'm sure John Frieda and Paul Mitchell would be happy to lend their expertise to you. Or another idea.....shave that shit. In the words of Wesley Willis..."cut that rat's nest off your skull.....go to the barber shop and tell them you're sick of looking like an asshole." You're friends with Sean Penn, his hair is awesome, what product does he use?

I don't even know what to say about the photo below. And where did it come from is the more important point? It looks like it was found in someone's trash can and scanned in. This is my least favorite EV hairdo of all time. I'm diggin' on the short look, but the blonde needs to go. Stat. Jill's hair looks great, siphon some product off her side of the sink, she probably won't mind. She's super hot, btw, great skin, pouty lips, kudos to you my friend, kudos.

I think this may be my favorite EV hair of all time. Definitely 90's, or close to it. Look at those cascading curls, I'm envious. That hair has product written all over it. As I see it, you have two options for hair survival. 1. Get out the clippers and embrace the 3-2. You're an attractive man, no need to hide your love away, or hide behind your hair. 2. Grow it out to at least shoulder length, and mousse that shit to high heaven.

Bad hair days aside, I still love you Eddie.